I you ever start a day by walking into the office behind a dumpster where four people in reception all turn to you and one goes "There he is!", just turn around and walk back out.

i was getting off the bus today and came to the conclusion that i am way too angry at things that should require my ire. the first woman off at my stop had one of those roll bags with the extendable handle. as soon as she stepped off the bus, she bent over and started fumbling with the handle. right in front of the exit. where i was trying to get off the bus.

after i took a breath, i realized exactly how frightening it is that the urge to shove her over her own luggage was only stopped by Phil Collins soothing sounds on my ipod. i really ought to send him a thank you.

by the way, i still to this day think Invisible Touch is about radiation. listen to the words.

anyway, as i walked past the neonazi City Year fitness demonstration, i thought long and hard about why this stupid hag thought it would be a good idea to run a pick on bus patrons.

after taking another drag of my smoke, my mind jumped to the reminder that i try way too hard to figure out the motives behind peoples actions. i guess thats why i have such an empathic mentality and why i am a neurotic, chain smoking IT. sometimes, people just dont have motives. i know this. what i refuse to believe is that there isnt something going on upstairs when they act.

that out of the way, im just going to lay this on the table: i voted McCain.

that said, i whole heartedly congratulate Obama and hope he leads this country in a prosperous 4 years. i also hope that hes lucky enough to avoid some redneck motherfucker who doesnt want one of "those people" in his white house. im thrilled that the country who, 40 years ago didnt allow black people to vote, now has a black person in the white house. thats progress. unfortunatly, there are still people who are living 40 years ago who think lynching is an answer. all i can do is hope that any enterprising young skinhead trips while cleaning his rifle and gives his shiny dome a nice skylight.

Bam Bitches

i swear to god that if i never see grout again, im cool with that.

for those of you who havent found it yet, i give you Fantastic Contraption:
http://www.addictinggames.com/fantasticcontraption.html

now go play it.

step one: tear our the drywall
step two: theres so much we can do.

ug. is it just me or do thursdays suck more than mondays? i mean, with monday you can bunker down and realize that you still have the week ahead. thursdays you have to realize that there is one more day. one fucking more day.

OK, where was i?

all three movies were highly entertaining, but if you really dont desire feeling awful about life, steer clear from both Boys and Reign. good movies, but jesus christ if didn't tear up like a babe at each one.

to be honest with you, thats pretty much all i have to report for now. things are pretty quiet and thats how i like it. now if i can just corner HR to talk about my promotion...

this weekend we went and saw Wall-E, stayed home and watched Boys Dont Cry, and Reign Over Me.

i have to say that i throughly enjoyed them all.

now im off to deal with 6 dell flatscreens

EDIT:
CRACKED.
(if you want an answer, let me know)



I know, i know... you're thinking "where has this mountain of sexuality been?"

settle down Ginger, im only here for my stuff.

if any of you eggheads out there can give me a hand, i have encrypted co-ordinates that i need help with. ive been pounding my head over it for a couple of days now and am making no leeway.

Here it is:
} °bh]c_f ( °a`]cdc

its in NE OH, so i figure }=4 and (=8 and space=1
and being as its degrees, minutes, and seconds, that means ]=.

any help would be appreciated.

We are planning another fun paintball outing for Sunday, September 16th at 12pm at Pinnacle Woods (www.pinnaclewoodspaintball.com). Please feel free to bring along anyone who is interested.

If you are interested, please let me know ASAP so I can preregister and reserve the field.

I will be collecting a $20 nonrefundable deposit from everyone at the end of August.

Four people of various ages are sitting around at a bar. they all know each other, but not well. One is convinced that some conspiracy theories are real: 9/11, kennedy, certain aspects of the moon landing were hidden from the public...etc. two at the table are on the fence. the fourth is convinced that there are too many reasons that the theories couldnt work: too many people would have to be involved, logistics, common sense.

they all argue at the table for a while before heading their separate ways.

the skeptic is walking home and has a flash... a woman is about to die. he sees how.

through various complicated ways and the help of the other people at the bar that night, he finds the lady and saves her life.

all seems fantastic.

then he has another flash... of the same lady dying. this one is sooner.

he goes back to the woman and explains the situation. as long as they alter the location or the circumstances of the woman in surrounding the woman and/or her death, the future has to change.

it works and all is good. but the skeptic is realizing that this isnt going to stop.

hes right. the flash comes again of the same woman. closer yet in time of occurance.



basically this was my dream. the escalading speed and frantic pace of the skeptics flashes to save a woman from a force that would inevitablly win.

i have no idea what it meant but it freaked the hell out of me and now here i am. 5:18am on a sunday morning typing in my lj.

Its time for another episode of "Stupid Trevor!"

an excerpt from an IM conversation yesterday.
T is me
E is someone better then me

T: want to laugh at me being stupid?
E: sure
T: it'll make you feel better
T: alright
T: you watch family guy, right?
E: when i can
T: did you see the one where peter brought home a bunch of syrup of ipecac?
E: oh yeah
E: barfing contest
T: well, it sparked curiousity in me.
E: when......
E: ?
T: last night
E: whataaaaaaaaaaat>?
E: where did you get that?
T: walgreens
E: go on
T: so i took the recommended tablespoon
T: and nothing happened
T: by the way, the stuff tastes great
T: so after about 30 minutes of nothing i thought "hey, im immune to the stuff"
T: i figured, if a tablespoon is going to do nothing, then might as well finish off the bottle
E: how many table spoons in a bottle trevor?
T: 5 or 6
E: what happened.........
T: well, i sat there and: nothing
T: nothing at all
T: then i felt a little warm
T: then.... chaos
E: where?
E: how much chaos
T: more chaos then a body should hold
E: how long did you puke and was it just puke?
T: well, there was no blood if thats what you mean
T: eventually it turned into me just yelling swear words into a bucket
T: i might have cracked a rib
T: i know that i will never do this again
E: poor stupid trevor
T: it was like someone busted a valve on me
E: wow
E: how long did this go on for?
T: i broke a bunch of bloodvessels in my face
E: that my dear made my day
T: it went on for about 4 hours
E: are you ok?
T: i ache

A large group of us are heading out to play paintball at Pinnacle. If you are interested, please post a comment ASAP.

So this weekend was a nice diversion from the regular. friday night we all went to Sumo Boy for some scruptious sushi. a good time was had by all. i went home early because i felt like drinking alone. call me captain social.

saturday was spent helping J&K with the cleansing of evil wallpaper. it was a good time.

then we went to dinner with the group and J&L's house, had some delish chicken concoction, then watched Casino Royale while talking about bajingos and rough shark sex.

after that was a little Texas Hold'em.

a good time.

sunday was spent napping and reading World War Z, and color me giddy, i do love a good global disaster story. add in that zombies were involved and my pants are on backwards.

that is all.

you know, i would kill to have an impromptu dance scene just once in my life. like, say, im walking through tower city and "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys starts, and right after the buildup and when the lyrics start, everyone stops their frantic, chaotic scramble to get to work and we all become one. one sexy, well timed beast of the dance.

someday.

as it stands right now, i get zero participation and nothing but weird looks.

it has occured to me that magic is not something of the rational mind. in my own meandering wanderings, ive come to accept that this world is not one of pixies and magic. it is not one of grand conspiracies or secret cults.
when distilled, the world is a simple, black and white place. sure, there are areas of grey, but they all fade away in time or under scrutiny.
simply put: stop trying to spin the world in a way that has things seem out of the norm.

its noble to wish upon a star and believe that that wish had merit, but we all need to come to terms with how life works. thinking that wish means anything more meaningful then bigfoot or the loch ness monster is an effort in hope. and hope, while a valued necessity in life when times are tough, is not something that actually accomplishes success. it a crutch, an aid.

im not saying that everyone needs to give up hope, im saying that we need to accept it for what it is. its a belief that things could be better if things were different.

so close your eyes, put hope and wishes aside, and see the world in black and white for once. its OK, no one will know.

go ahead.

now open your eyes and see that life is a lot more simple then you hope it is.

a forced memory of an action, not an emotion

i have done better.

"alright now" call me what you will, but those words spoken by an elderly black man rank among the coolest in toons book of cool. i heard those today after i helped open the doors for one of the cleanup crew in my building today. not by the woman who needed the doors opened, but by the man moving to open them for her. i beat him to it. he nodded at me and said "alright now". that somehow seemed better then "thank you".

hello kiddies, toon is back, at least in the capacity i can allow at the time.

ive accepted that i am... unique. different in a way that matters beyond the pinache of those who feign it with flowerly words and prose. i am different in a way that matters to me beyond the need to show it to the world. that acceptance has led to me being quieter, lest they catch on.

its been three months into the new year. so far i have had two surgeries and one frantic trip to the hospital. i have declared my love for a woman who humbles me with her beauty. i have risen to a level that many aspire towards but few have accomplished.

fear me children, because a new eve approaches. one of bliss and righteousness. one that will leave me dancing on the head of a pin while most stare in confusion.

"if i could teleport, i could still be in bed" you know its going to be a good day when this is your first thought getting off the bus. anyway, things have been going pretty good for me. work has been the continuing buzz that drives my need to spend money on things i dont need. i think im going to buy a stuffed dog. and my love life is still complicated, but i wouldnt have it any other way. when things get slower, ill write more, but heres a picture of the woman of my dreams. ( Read more... )

I just want to go on record as saying that i think Anna Nicole Smith was killed by the producers of E! True Hollywood Story.

Bored in the office This is what i do in the office when its slow

I'm trying to figure out what witty way to weave my random update.

its odd because i think the sudden life sobriety, the lack of nicotine, the rhinoplasty, and burning eyeballs, and the love of a good woman have distilled my brain into a water/oil concoction of bliss and fortune so strong i can almost touch it.

so where does this all leave me? how does my sudden clarity of life bring me closer to the mountaintop i have chased for too many years? is this just another false path i have started down?

the doubts follow one step behind. a life of wearing my heart on my sleeve has left me tired of throwing all them chicks in one basket. at 28 and im a bitter old man yelling gad dummit at life on my lawn.

the funny thing is, none of this seems the same. its a pure, driven feeling that is unlike anything i have ever dealt with. its like taking a deep breath of cold, winter air. a biting, shimmering draw so brisk you can taste the ice on it. so strong you feel it in your toes.

i dont know how to take it

its not everyday that we face what seems like insermountable odds. it turns turns into an "us vs them" situation and them is the bastard called "everything". we want to believe that, unaided, we can overcome all odds. But the truth is, its our pride talking. that if we bear down and grit out teeth, the world will kneel to our will... its not the case. the world is an emposing place, full of power and thunder that shakes our structure to its very core. sometimes, we need to believe in something to step up and shoulder some of the burden. it doesnt make us less of a person, it just makes us human.

and now the drama begins....

Nonchalant - Chapeaumelon
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Get in Line - Barenaked Ladies
Everlong - Foo Fighters
What Would You Say - Dave Matthews Band
The Ultimate Showdown
Stories I Tell - Toad the Wet Sprocket
Jenny Was A Friend of Mine - The Killers
Boom, Boom, Boom - The Outhere Brothers
Shut Up and Dance - Aerosmith
Dammit - Blink 182
I Wish (Radio Edit) - Skee-Lo
Crash - Methods of Mayhem
Track 01 - Evanescence
Graduate - Third Eye Blind
Good Grief - Urban Dance Squad
Unlimited Megajam - 2 Unlimited
New Age Girl - Deadeye Dick
Adam's Song - Blink-182
I Walk Alone - Oleander
Wheres Your Head At - Basement Jaxx

I feel like posting what I listen to on my iPod on the way in to work. This might be a regular occurance.

FNT - Semisonic
Of a Broken Heart - Zwan
Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies
Beautiful World - Colin Hay
Amber - 311
Any Other Name - Thomas Newman
Don't Push It, Don't Force It - A Gordon
Dengue Woman Blues - Jimmie Vaughan
As Ugly As I Seem - The White Stripes
Natural Blues - Moby
Draggin' The Line - R.E.M.
Soft Serve - Soul Coughing
Porcelain - Moby
Under My Skin - Bob Scheider
Hold On - Limp Bizkit

ever see the man in the moon and have him look back? ever have him wink and acknowledge that he sees you to?

i walked into traffic today for the first time. just stepped out into the mess of moving chaos. it didnt touch me.

for the first time since i can remember i have felt whole. my fingers type and im not even looking at the words spilling out onto this lame excuse for communication. colors are dulled, but for once i remember what the colors i missed were like. i feel remorse as opposed to an empty acceptance.

she brought me back. her eyes let me taste life again. like flashes i see her looking up at me, eyes ablaze with life and love. i refuse to let that feeling go without fighting tooth and nail.

im going to out and say it, "I'm in love". its a hard thing for me to say, but i'm at the point where i want to scream it from the rooftops. so many drunken posts about desparation and darkness and here i am, turning the other cheek. im drunk now, dont get me wrong, but shes amazing. i wish you all could meet her and see her eyes, her gorgeous eyes. she was a high school crush who came into my life and changed my world. turned the damned thing upside down and made me forget my rut. to her, i dance a jig and clap my hands.

a hug, a touch. these things are forsaken after a time. forgotten in the annuals of things more important. of a life justified as having lived, but empty.

suddenly a breath of life touches the depths of memory and the embers of rememberance flare to action. touching thoughts long thought dead. it flares to life and consumes. it becomes a part of you. it becomes you.

all that is existing is the need to feel. to touch, to hug.